day 14...

Today I am thankful for...
* getting to go on my rooftop to keep my boyfriend company while he cleaned out the gutters...so fun!
* the boyfriend making dinner again.  What has gotten into him?!
* making journals.  Starting to anyway.
* peach pie & milk for breakfast.
* the day off!

prompts---
- close your eyes.  Slow your breathing.  Listen to what is going on around you.  Notice the noise level.  Don't let your mind drift, ....just experience the moment.  Make as many observations as you can.  Now journal your experience.
- they say that if you spend enough time thinking about what you want to dream about that you'll have a good chance of actually dreaming what you wish.  What do you want to dream about?  Think about a lovely dream....journal it.  Make it pretty of course.  Then meditate about it maybe while focusing on your page before you go to bed.  See what happens!!
- Set aside time before you journal to cut scraps of paper down to size.  Make your embellishments and borders ahead of time.  Think about the colors you want to use and set them aside.  Dig out your materials now.  Prep your page(s) with gesso and/or paint.  Now all you have to do when you actually sit down to journal is journal.  How refreshing.  I also like to keep a paper grocery bag nearby for scraps and trash.  I like it because you can just toss the whole thing in the trash when you are done.  Journal cleanup is such a drag.  It's also nice to work on something spread out (a trash bag, or newspapers, or an old quilt) ....just shake it in the trash and toss it or wash it when you're done.  I know this one isn't really a prompt, but these are useful tips right??
- What was your favorite childhood cartoon?  Do you have a picture of yourself watching it as a child (even a pic of you watching tv while young will work).  Use the color scheme of the show in your page.  Love the smurfs? Think blue and white.....mushrooms.  Had a thing for Strawberry Shortcake?  Red, pink, and a lot of strawberries.  You get the idea.  Can you find stickers of your favorite retro show?  Think about what drew you in to watching it.....was it the colors, the songs, the stories?  If you watched the show today would you still like it?  I think this is a really fun prompt....I loved all my favorite childhood shows!!

I'm gonna go check out some gingerbread houses for my next post.....exciting!  Thanks to everyone who posted a comment on my Chronicle Books post.  If you haven't, scroll down for details on your chance to win $500 worth of books!!

so here's the deal.....

I've developed a slight allergy to all things feminine.  Mostly it's the smell of it all that's putting me off.  But it's also the sight of it.  The circus of being a woman.  It's a huge production, and I'm a bit sick of it to tell you the truth.  Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I don't want to put forth any effort.  I still want to look pretty.......MY version of pretty.  Spoken or unspoken, women have rules.  We are told what we should or shouldn't be wearing, how our hair should be fixed, weather or not we should have make-up on, etc, etc.  Everyone has a different vision of beauty, so why shouldn't we be allowed to express who we really are?

I guess all this current frustration started when I decided to ditch bar soap.  I'm the only one in my house that uses it, so it would sit in the shower for a long time and get soap scum all over my porcelain tub, making it really hard to clean.  Body wash is expensive, so I smelled all the cheap stuff.  Of course I start with the pretty bottles with the girlie fragrances.  They all sound nice, but when I open the cap to take a sniff.......OMG.  Wow.  Disgusting.  All of them.  The neutral ones smell awful to me as well.  Then I think...hey...I like my boyfriends body wash.  He uses Irish Spring Aloe.  Mmmmmm.  Heavenly.  About 1/3 of the men's body washes smell good.  Why not?  I'm converted.  Then I go to find some new deodorant.  Not anti-perspirant, deodorant.  I hear that the aluminum in anti-perspirant gives you breast cancer, so I'm looking for deodorant.  Guess what?  They don't make a deodorant for women!  They had one.  One.  It was Tom's apricot scent.  It didn't smell good.  I thought it would,. but it didn't.  So once again, I start searching the men's deodorants.  I settled on Axe fresh essence.  I was drawn to the package of course, which had a dragon and a unicorn on it.  Yeah, I picked out the girliest guy deodorant, but I love it!  I also like shaving foam & it's extremely rare to find a woman's variety.  Gels and creams are everywhere, but nothing compares to Barbisol shaving foam.  And speaking of shaving, men's razors are usually heavier weighted and have more blades.  nice.  I love LOVE men's cotton pajama pants!  The beautiful blues and greys are wonderful.  I love sleeping in either those, or men's cotton boxers.  With a tight women's fitted t (in equally "male" colors), it's a really flattering way to be comfortable.  I want to wear men's underwear too.  I bought a pack of boy's superhero underwear because I thought it would be really cute to wear, but they don't fit.  I can get them on, but the design stretches and they look bad.  I have cute women's underware (that cover my whole ass!) from aerie.  Love that store.  But I'm curious as to how men's underwear would feel.  It's become this novelty to me.  Of course I do have some wifebeaters that look nice under shirts.  And I've been wearing my boyfriends long sleeve buttondowns, and they look great on me, if I do say so myself.  It's funny how a men's medium looks awesome, and a women's extra large still won't fit in the chest.  I've been looking around at fashion blogs at women in feminine buttondowns with a men's vest, paired with work pants.  Love that look.
I want to be a man.  But I am a woman.  I would never get a sex change or become butch or anything like that.  I think I would look awful as a man.  No.  I was born a woman, and I was meant to be a woman.  If I was a man I would be gay without a doubt.  I think I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body!  Ha.  No, I really get into girlie things, it's just that sometimes enough is enough.  It's high maintenance being a woman.  I wanna brush my teeth, mess up my hair and go.  But that'll never happen.  I'm to vain for that. 

If you ever get sick of it all, try tapping into the men's section.  You'll be glad you did.