reward myself for my accomplishments

One thing I am learning, that is a huge motivator, is rewarding myself.  I have a lot to do.  A LOT to do.  So having something to look forward to is a great way to push myself.  It's usually something small, like Starbucks, or watching my favorite show, or maybe even a new candle or body wash.  It's ok to treat yourself for accomplishing something.  Sometimes I get so overwhelmed when I think about everything that needs to get done, so I don't do anything, feeling so guilty.  You have to tell yourself, "one step at a time, don't compare yourself to others, & you are only human".  So you ran errands all day and you were too exhausted to clean when you came home?  So what.  You spent your entire day off running errands (not to mention making breakfast, lunches, and dinner, feeding the animals too, and being pulled in a million other directions...)!  So relax.  Don't bite off more than you can chew.  Focus on one thing at a time, and give yourself a break.  Break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar!    :P
Tell me, what motivates you?  What do you reward yourself with???

be more thrifty

I wanted to include this in my resolutions this year for so many reasons.  First, to save money.  I have become a lot more aware of my spending habbits over the last few years, and I am tired of spending ridiculous amounts of money on things we don't love or use often.  I feel like holidays, for one, have gotten completely out of hand.  These kids (and us) are becoming so spoiled, ending up with mountains of generic stuff that we don't even appreciate.  I can't help but wonder how harmful this will be in the long run for our family.  I'm really begenning to rethink gifts, and want to start making them really unique and thoughtful.  Another reason to become more thrifty is that it is so much fun.  It's always neat to go into a thrift store with an open mind, and see what's available.  Once I got a fantastic olive green velvet vintage couch for $30!  Incredible.  And if you know how to alter clothing, this can be a great way to find vintage fabrics, and borrow pretty details from clothes that aren't quite right.  Also, thrifting is so eco friendly.  Forget all the packaging and polution!  It's a win win win....yay!

lose 30 pounds

I almost hesitate to share this goal because the last thing I want to do is offend anyone, especially on my personal blog, which I try to stay positive and happy. The truth is though, that I really want to share significant and inspirational goals, as well as the fun stuff. I know how weight can be such an emotional topic for almost all women, and probably most men too. So please know, that I am not trying to imply that anyone bigger, smaller, or the same size as me needs to lose 30 pounds.
My reasons for giving myself this goal are many, but mostly because in the 11 years that I have been a mother (I say 11 because you really become a mother when you get pregnant), my focus shifted from myself to my children. This is a good thing, but as they get older and more independent, I am starting to realize that they need to see Mommy work on making positive personal changes. They need to watch and talk with me about being healthy, active, and optimistic. In the past decade I have spent so much mental energy learning how to distract myself from stress & drama. I am not a drinker, a smoker, or a drug user, but I am an emotional eater. Pizza, soda, and candy bars take the edge off of a bad day. Junk food is cheap and working out hurts.
I'm not ok with living like this forever though. I feel like I'm young enough to really benefit from healthful living in the long run. Not that you can't benefit from becoming healthy at any age, but I would love to avoid a chronic illness. Health and nutrition are so important, and if I can manipulate my future to have a sharp mind, a peaceful spirit, and an able body, than sign me up!
I'm not going to pretend that a huge secondary push here isn't a driving factor in this goal. I want to wear what I want, and feel pretty and flirty. It's hard to fake confidence. I plan on getting married in a few years, and I want to strive to be beautiful inside and out. It doesn't really matter what size you are as long as you are happy with yourself...beauty will radiate. I think that by actively paying attention to my nutrition and fitness level will make me start to feel pretty.
A transition like this takes time. There is a lot of mental work to do as well. I am giving myself until December 12 to complete this goal. It needs to be done in a healthy and sane way. It's not all or nothing. This is most definitely a lifestyle change that I have to be comfortable sticking with in the long run. I really want to be a hot girlfriend, and a healthy mom. This will make me feel beautiful.

break up with radio.

I am so tired of listening to what other people like.  Radio isn't necessarily bad, .....it's just.......well, I can't handle listening to some of the same annoying songs over and over again.  I only actually like a small percentage of the songs available on every radio station.  The truth is, my musical taste is very eccentric.  Listening to Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber does not make me happy.  A lot of the artists I like aren't even played on the radio.
So I think in order to be happy, you have to take charge of the fact that you have the ability to choose.  Not just with songs, but you know, it's a start.  It doesn't have to cost a fortune either.  I don't have tons of money to be spending on cds or itunes.  Lilly spilled tea on my laptop keyboard, so my speakers make scary noises now.  But, the library has cds to check out, and then there's things like Pandora radio.  I love the pandora radio app for my iphone.  It's even nice to use it as a car radio, though it doesn't seem loud on the road.  I should probably get a car adapter, so I can turn up the volume on it in the car.
Listening to music that speaks to me, that really has the ability to either mimic my mood or uplift my spirits...that is what I want.
So what are you listening to right now?  Any suggestions?

the can of worms i didn't really mean to open.

 wow. writing a post about religion and spirituality, and what they mean to me, was a lot more time consuming and harder than i thought.  religion is such a hot button topic, and you have to choose your words carefully.  i really hope i don't offend anyone, as that was certainly not my intention behind this post.  i didn't mean to get involved in the topic of religion at all, but thought it might be helpful for me to explain my thoughts on it, since some people might be wondering, "how can you be more spiritual if you aren't religious?"

Sunday morning.  The perfect time for a "become more spiritual" post.  Spell check just told me I had been spelling spiritual wrong.  Maybe I should write a post before I do my projects.  Anyway.....

I'm not a religious person at all.  And I don't want to be.  Being spiritual is different than being religious.  If I were religious I would have a clear and defined path based on one particular religion, which would guide me in every aspect of how I lived my life on this planet.  Becoming more spiritual, as I would like to do, will include meditating, and setting aside the time to reflect on how I wish to improve my life by staying true to a strong set of morals.  I want to strive to become a more positive person, and focus more on everything I am grateful for.  Organized religion is flawed in my opinion. Too many believers are hypocritical.  I don't think the religion or idea is at fault, it's the followers that taint the good image I might otherwise have of a particular religion.

Religion, to me, is like a comforting story.  Something we tell our children to calm their fears of the unknown so they can fall asleep.  The truth is, we don't know.  We won't know what happens after we die until we die.  A friend of mine once told me (about choosing a religion) that it's like choosing our favorite lie.  Jesus Christ is no more real to me than Santa Claus.  Probably once real men, great men.  People started talking about these great men, re-telling these tales from generation to generation.  As we all know from the game of telephone, these stories can get twisted and mis-interpreted, shaped by the experiences of the storyteller over time.  The stories take on the current societal trends of the time, with vivid magic and folklore, as well as strong political undertones and fears.  Don't get me wrong, I believe that religion as a whole has good intentions behind it.  You can learn some great lessons from living a religious life, like selflessness, respect, obedience, patience, hope, charity, and general "goodwill towards men".

Technically I am agnostic.  This means that I am open to the idea of religion being true, but without scientific proof or seeing it with my own eyeballs, I can't be certain.  I have gone to church, and prayed to God, and even got baptized.  But I can honestly say, I never received any answers from Him.  Not a sign.  Not even the image of the virgin Mary on a potato chip!  I can't say that I believe with 100% certainty that I believe in ghosts and aliens, but there are too many stories by reputable people to dismiss the thought (and just think about how vast our universe is!).  I get a lot of comfort from reading books about Buddhism.  The words bring so much prospective on life, teaching you how to "live in the now", and engage fully in whatever you may be currently doing.

Saying you are agnostic is often tricky.  Most people don't really know what agnostic means, and automatically assume that  you are an atheist.  An atheist is a person who doesn't believe an any sort of God or any higher power at all.  They believe that this life is it, and that when we die we die.  End of story.  Atheists are very logical and scientific.  This is not what I believe at all.  I want there to be something!  The idea of Heaven sounds much more appealing than rotting underground & being eaten by maggots.  Even the things I don't want to believe, I still sort of do.  How can you argue when you hear someone say, "the Devil is among us."?!  Then again, atheists have a point.  I can't rule that idea out either.  If this life is all we have, we might as well make the best of it, savoring all the little morsels of happiness that we can. 

Who am I to say that one religion is better than another?!

I just plan on lighting a candle each day, and taking a few moments to meditate, and write down a few things that I am grateful for in a journal.  I plan on writing down my morals, and discussing them with my family as often as possible.  And every day I plan to practice being a happy person, that I can be proud of when I am old.  You have to strive for something.  Something beyond the day to day.  I will be looking forward to having that little bit of calm and peace in each and every day.

go on more dates.

 i am madly in love with my boyfriend, and we spend so much time together, but we rarely go on proper dates.  we've been together for almost 3 years, and while i still enjoy his company, we have settled into a comfort zone that does not include dressing up or going out.  i love and cherish our cozy "stay home" time, with it's jammies, movies, and pizza, but it would be really nice for us to hold onto that intoxicating feeling that comes from trying to impress one another & connecting on a deeper level.  it doesn't really matter what we do, as long as we are having fun, looking as attractive as possible, flirting, and connecting without distractions.  these are some dates i want to try in 2011........

shooting range

putting together a puzzle

a little road trip

park picnic

long nature walks

painting together

cooking together

going to new local restaurants

going to a thrift store and spending $5 on each other

playing a fun video game together

do a d.i.y. project together

go to the library and research about a different country (vacation ideas!)

learn a foreign language

visit a planetarium

go horseback riding

visit a little nearby town

go to a museum 

sit at a coffee shop

go hiking

go on a bike ride

teach each other things we know (like knitting/learning how to drive a stick shift)

I'm excited to try new cute little dates like this.  Got any more ideas??

be more social.

i'm a serious recluse.  i'm really good at it.  i guess it comes naturally when you have kids, a boyfriend, and 3 animals, but still.  i like being alone.  i truly enjoy my own company....and crave it actually.  but after a while of isolating yourself from the outside world, you start to wonder what your two other friends are doing.  and when a girl stops dressing up, she stops feeling pretty (well i do anyway).  i'm really excited to go out tonight.  kc and i are going out to a burlesque show, followed by a concert.  i can't wait to put on fake eyelashes & high heels and smile with my friends!  i also plan on being more prompt in my letter writing to my lovely pen-pals.  i miss that.  so plan on hearing from me more often, in all forms of communication.  i'm almost old, so i gotta go out and see the world while i still can!!