Losing Weight. Pt. 2

Ok, I know I've posted weight loss entries, and entries on becoming a vegetarian on here.  And then totally went back on my word.  The truth is, I'm trying to figure it all out.  You have to have balance, and you have to be happy or it just won't work.  I want to lose weight.  But not at the expense of my health or my happiness or my sanity.  I realized that it all comes down to diet.  Exercise is good for toning and mental happiness, but it won't make you lose weight.  It is really important, but it won't shrink my stomach.  Waking up at the crack of dawn (losing sleep!) to work out was really burning me out.  I will still exercise, but not like that.
I really wanted to be a vegetarian, but honestly, for me, it wouldn't help me lose weight, which is my current goal.  You really need a lot of protein when you are reducing your food intake to help you lose weight.  I know you can get plenty of protein from a vegetarian diet, but it gives you much more options when you can have meat, fish, beans, eggs, milk, beans, tofu, cheese, soy, and nuts.  Meat is relatively low cal, lean cuts are low fat, it keeps you full, and honestly it tastes good.  I won't be eating much red meat, if any, ....but tuna and chicken are great "diet" foods. 
In the past when I have lost weight, I ended up putting the pounds back on because I restrained myself so much for months that I ended up caving in and binging on something really cheesy or a hot fudge brownie sundae.  I didn't allow myself enough chocolate or healthy fats, and I consumed way too much sucralose and aspartame....ick.  This time around, I'm letting myself have one or two squares of dark chocolate per day.  I will have plenty of healthy fats, like nuts, olive oil, and avocado.  I will try to eat as many vegetables and fruits as possible (for fillers).  I will have a yogurt every day.  I will drink mainly tea, coffee, and lots of water.  I will be careful with reduced fat or sugar foods (I want to eat REAL food).  I will chew gum if I'm not really hungry but I want to eat something.  I will try to keep myself busy and keep my mental health in check so I don't fall back on bad emotional eating habits.  If I eat dessert, it will have to be really REALLY good, not just whatever treat someone brought into work.  I will cook more and eat out less.  It is so hard to find healthy "weight loss" type foods in restaurants!  I will eat off the kids menu if I have to.  I've often told myself that if I treated myself like a child (if I wouldn't let my kids have it, then I shouldn't eat it) or like a pregnant woman (eat as healthy as possible for the baby and don't gain too much weight!) that I would eat so much better.  I will stick to this, because I really really want to look like a hot mama when I'm still young, and I know that even though this isn't a "diet", I won't have to eat like this forever.  I will be able to cheat, but not until I'm at goal weight.  I want to be a complete fox by the time I turn 30.
This all came up in my internal dialogue again when we went to Colorado for vacation.  Here in Missouri, there are so many beautiful women that are overweight.  I never felt that bad about myself because I was part of the average normal.  Then we went to Colorado, and everyone there is so fit.  I mean, I saw so many hot young mamas at the pool in bikinis....it was unbelievable!  I realized that if I really wanted to, I could look like those mamas too.  That I didn't have to accept my extra pounds just because I am a Mommy or that I am a normal average girl.  I like curves, but I want to FEEL good.  I want to look good in and out of clothes, and not worry about how my clothes make me look.  I want to wear whatever I want and know that I'll look good regardless.
Today I went out to my garden and picked out my lunch.  I feel really good about that.  Eating healthy feels good, and I know that in turn, I will look good because of it.  This time it's for real.

I love this girl.

"how bad do you really want it?"

 Goodbye Dove chocolate bunnies.  I'll miss you.  Remember when I said I was going to lose at least 20 lbs. before July?  yeah.  I didn't do so hot in March.  If my scale is correct, I did lose about 4 lbs., which isn't bad, but still.  Scarfing down cookie cake and pizza is hardly dieting.  But I have been a good girl with my little Subway lunches (6 inch turkey on Italian herb and cheese, American cheese, lettuce, cucumber, green peppers, lite mayo, apples, and unsweetened iced tea).  4 pounds is 4 pounds.  But when we go to Colorado early July, I want to look hot and not frumpy when I meet KC's friends for the first time.  So I gotta step up my game.  I can eat fairly healthy, but without keeping track of my calories those chocolate bunnies here and there might kill my progress.  Food diaries work.  Counting calories works.  I'll be adding exercise too.  Thanks to the rain, I won't be meeting Sam at 6 am for a jog in the park.  I'm so relieved I get to sleep in tomorrow!  Oh cuss, I was really looking forward to that!  :)

In like a lion...

out like a lamb.  Hopefully.  It's March first, and the first day of making healthier choices for the next 4 months.  Our whole family will be "spring cleaning", not only our home, but our minds, bodies, and attitudes as well.  We're all ready to be a little healthier.

The girls signed up for the walking school bus.  The program was supposed to start back up today, but the weather guidelines are pushing that start up back a little further.  We decided to walk anyway, which was fun and refreshing.  Until they started complaining about frozen hands and legs that wouldn't take them any further.  Then, while the crossing guard was helping us cross the street right before we hit school property, Lilly spilled her smoothie.  On her coat.  On her fleece jacket.  On her jeans.  And on her lunchbox.  yeah.  That was fun.  But it will be fun.  It will.  We'll get there.

I also decided that it was high time that I lost this baby weight for good!  My youngest baby is 6.  And a half.  It's time.  My goal is to lose 20 pounds in 4 months.  I am going to do this not by counting calories and being a slave to fitness, but by cooking my meals and using common sense.  The family will benefit from all the healthy home cooked yumminess too!  I will be walking every morning before work and school.  On my days off I'll do a workout video until the weather gets nice, and then I'll have much more options for exercise.  I will listen to my body when it is full.  When I feel an emotional eating binge coming on strong I will pause, practice deep breathing, and treat myself in a healthy way (like buying myself an unsweet tea instead of a box of hostess cupcakes).  I will treat myself like you would a child when it comes to eating.....small portions, lots of fruits and vegetables, hardly any processed junk, and a homemade cookie once an a while.  I will work harder to keep a clean house, which will minimize couch time.  After the 4 months is up, I'll probably continue to lose a few more pounds, tighten up the muscles, and work towards my dream body.  Well not my real dream body, but my near 30 had 2 kids body.

What I ate today:

•  1 c yoplait strawberry banana smoothie (found in the freezer section)
•  4 colby jack cheese cubes
•  2 two bite everthing bagel with cream cheese leftovers from the girls
•  chicken lunch meat on wheat bread with mustard 
•  apple slices
•  1/2 bag of m&m's (nobody's perfect)
•  a slice of french bread
•  beans & rice
•  1/2 c orange juice
•  1/2 baked peach cobbler with a scoop of vanilla ice cream

 

Roasted Peach Crisp

adapted from Cook Yourself Thin

2 peaches halved and pitted

honey

1 large egg white

2 pinches brown sugar

2 teaspoons vegetable oil

dash of salt

1/4 c smashed up almonds

1/3 c instant oats

Preheat oven to 425.

Place peaches face up in glass baking dish.  Drizzle honey on top.  Put a tiny bit of water in the bottom of the pan.  Cook peaches for 30 minutes.

In the meantime, mix the other ingredients in a bowl, then spread out on a small baking dish.  Place alongside peaches for the last 10 minutes of cooking time.

Break up cobbler and place over peaches, and of course top with vanilla ice cream. 

What did you eat today?